Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter 

Impossible to do

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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, expert says 

No crap, really? Ya think? 

 —————————————————————————

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 

Now that’s taking things a bit far! 

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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over   

What a guy!   

 —————————————————————  

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing, lazy so-and-so’s! 

 ——————————————————  

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial! 

   ———————————————————- 

War Dims Hope for Peace 

I can see where it might have that effect! 

  —————————————————————- 

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?! 

 ———————————————————————–  

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures  

Who would have thought! 

  —————————————————————- 

Enfield (London) Couple Slain;  Police Suspect Homicide  

They may be on to something! 

 ———————————————————————— 

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?  

   ———————————————————- 

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces  Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge! 

 ———————————————-  

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

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Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again! 

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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall! 

  *******************************************  

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right? 

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I picked up this collection of headlines and comments somewhere. What can I say? Proofreading is important!